She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
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