Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Randomize
