Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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