Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
