You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
