Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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