Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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