I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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