Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
