When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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