holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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