So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Randomize
