he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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