Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
