I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
