Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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