Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
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