And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
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