how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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