His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
this is an emotional support booty call
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