yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Randomize
