Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
