The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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