I wanna passion pit in your ass
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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