You're so nebulous sometimes
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
