A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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