He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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