..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
false alarm, still single
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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