I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
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i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
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Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
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