she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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