is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
false alarm. still invincible.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
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