??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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