I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable