New low: just hacked my moms facebook
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis