Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
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Houston, we have a blender
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
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I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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