my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
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