ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
