I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
