She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
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I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
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i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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