Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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