We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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