so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
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