Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
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