Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Randomize
