We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
This toilet bowl is my home.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
