I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Randomize