what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
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My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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