but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
