Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
