She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
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