i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
