did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
