im about as happy as oj after his trial
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
