As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I need to align my fucking chakras
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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