Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
