this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I am naked and annoyed.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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