Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Randomize
