hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
im six kinds of drunk right now
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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