So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Randomize
