I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
