That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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