pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
