That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
