My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
