Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
