yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Randomize
