I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
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I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
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You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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