I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Randomize
