I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
okay pat passed out under dana's car
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
