and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Randomize
