Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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