Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
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